This weekend will be a very meaningful one for me I guess!
I will be working towards improving myself and identifying my directions for my future
As usual, I'm always thinking and thinking and thinking, and I have finally decided to block out most external factors and strive for myself.
So.... wish me luck! haha

Thank you.

No one knows what happens backstage.
No matter how messy, ugly, disturbing it is, no one knows about it.
For people merely judged the facade.

A month has passed since I have started SIP.
Time really flies right! Like WOAH, I'm only left with 2months of SIP before I'm going back to school and continue studying.

Alot of things passes through my mind each day at work and I won't say that I have had a very fulfilling time so far. Sometimes, I can be very free, to the extent that I get frustrated because I can't use my time meaningfully. I find that there are so much more things that I can learn, but I'm not getting the chance to do so.

And when I have time up my hands, my mind starts wandering around. Thinking what my fellow coursemates might be doing, whether are they having a fulfilling time, getting to learn more things than me.

Sometimes, I even start wondering, can it be that I'm incapable? That the things that I am doing, I feel no satisfaction from completing it.
I had a talk with my supervisor yesturday out of the blues.
I was grateful for him taking the time out to analyze my situation with me.
But that conversation has caused me to waver in my directions.
I am no longer certain of what I want in life.
Something which I held on to so strongly for years has never wavered. But now, I'm not so sure about it. In fact, this wasn't the first time it has happened during my time here.

When one has a passion for something, they will go all out and fight for it, because of their passion and love for it.
But.. right up till now.. I have never ever really fought hard for it.
It feels as if I have yet to really put my heart into doing anything.
If I really had the passion for it, why doesn't what I learn stay in my mind?
My attitude for everything so far has basically been like, I will just study for the sake of doing so, once it's over, I'll just forget about it and have fun.
Liking something does not mean that there is a passion for something.

On the other hand, when I was having a talk with my LO, it was yet another kind of emotions and thinkings involved.
I was certain of what I wanted and I knew where I was heading.

Am I even suited for law?
Is it what I really want?
Or am I just used to thinking that law is what I want.
This feels worse than not knowing what I want right from the start.

I'm sooooooooo bored now.
I need to find something to do to keep myself occupied. =/

我累了。经过那么长的一段时间，却没有人主动反省。is it even worth it.

Loads of things to share, but how I wish there is this speech converter thing which will type out whatever I have to say in here.
Sometimes, I just feel that everyone is making use of one another and I don't like that feeling.
So much things to say, but I don't know what to say.