Waiting for replies from Universities are like the longest waits in life.
You can't identify your directions in life until they get back to you-.-

Kinda disappointed with myself for making mistakes that I don't normally make during practices.
Like seriously?! My nervous-ness got the better over me -.-
Feel that I kinda 对不起陈老师 for those stupid mistakes that I made.
Another concert down.
Let's hope that things will get more enjoyable.
I'm not interested in playing politics.
I just want to play my cello peacefully and happily lol.

Exams results are out; I did not get my gpa of 3.
Since I didn't meet the conditional offer, I will now have to wait for the universities to reply me if they would still accept me as a student.

TPCO concert is finally over.
Two major worries over.
But I don't feel as relief as I thought I will be.
I don't know why, but I guess 2 years of comm life in TPCO has made me developed some feelings for them even though it can be very frustrating at times.
Not to forget, the many awesome friendships that I found in there which I definitely couldn't find in my course (at least for my batch).

Though alot of things has happened this past AY, I'm glad that things ended on a good note last night.
The committee has indeed been through alot of obstacles with people resigning at the start, keeping everyone's morale going etc.
There were plenty of down moments, but there were definitely pleasant moments as well.
Without this concert, I would not have got to know my cello members better, a little regretful that I didn't get to know them better earlier, sectionals would be so much better for them. I believe Mr Chua misses those times where everyone jokes and work hard together. But as the saying goes, better late than never.

I'd probably not accomplished what I wanted to accomplished for the CO when I started out this AY and I'd probably not been the best leader that I thought I could have been for the members. But I've definitely done what I could have done given the situation I am in. Nonetheless, problematic they can be, I'm still proud of every single one of them for putting aside whatever grudges they have to help ensure that the concert proceeds smoothly.
We may not play the hardest or most interesting songs you can find around, but the very least we did was to give the audience a relaxing night with our concert which I believed was attained.

I'm thankful for all the help and cooperation that was rendered to me from the members, alumni, instructors and everyone else during my term (not like I've stepped down, but handover day isn't exactly very far away.).
Without all these, I won't have been able to complete my term with the orchestra.
For all the things I couldn't fight for the orchestra, I'm sorry.
As compared to a Zengmei who I was in 2009, I've definitely learnt alot from the orchestra be it mentally or in terms of my cello skills. I have definitely never expect myself to be so involved with TPCO lol.

One very important thing that held me through this term was to "never look back". There were many occasions where I'd look back and ponder; "what if I haven't done this/taken on the position, life would be so much easier", but what done is done, I can't undo my decision, what I can do is  to be forward looking instead and to rectify the problem instead of lamenting because no one can help me if I don't help myself.

Going back to studio 9&10 will now be a total different feeling and I'm not sure if I can deal with it. Afterall, it was my second home for 3years. Lol..

Thankful but sorry.

Even when everything can be very bad, some people are just simply there to make all your effort worth it :')

Had a short meet-up/coffee session with my primary school English teacher!
It's been 8 years since I last saw her!
We were always talking about meeting up some day but we never did because of the clash in schedules.
I was really excited in meeting her even though we haven't met for so long.
Imagine the awkwardness that could have possibly occurred!

Surprisingly, we had a lot to talk about.. And it was really funny looking back on how we simply disobeyed her and realizing the importance of it now.
She was like "See, I told you guys back then, but you guys didn't want to listen to me, now then you see the usefulness of it!"

I don't know if she shrank or did I grow so much that she feels so... normal.. She feels more of a friend to me than a teacher now..and it feels really awesome to
be able to see her again..
The last we saw each other was on the day when we had to go back to school to collect our results and I was thinking that I will never get to see her ever again..
Meeting her again feels so magical. Haha.
I hope to see her again soon!

Haven't been sleeping well. But I don't know what's the cause for it either =/
Like that how to survive these coming few weeks!?

Sometimes I can't help but feel, seriously what am I fighting for?
Why do I bother fighting against Fayanne so that this concert can go on, when they don't even take pride in coming for the practices diligently to put up a presentable concert and doing their own duty well as a performer.
I know this isn't fair for those who attends practice diligently and try to do their best for the concert.
But the negative forces are too overwhelming, more than the positive forces in quantity.
For all the time I have spent in fighting for those who don't even deserves it, all these time could jolly well be put into better uses.

I know this isn't the time to be demoralise because I have no time to be demoralised, I should take the time to see how I can make things work instead.
But all these nonsenses are really getting the toll on me.
If the problems are solely from co only, it's ok, I can deal with it for I know it will be over soon.
But I can't even find peace at home.
This is awful and I hate this.
If my disappearance can cause all these problems to cease, I will gladly do so.
So what am I suppose to do to make things right, or can I just amputate off my shoulders.

I really really really like 陈老师 alot.
I hope that I will not have to stop cello lessons from her. Or at least, attain what she wants of me before I stop.

The feelings I have for her is different from all the feelings I have for my previous cello teachers.
I like all my previous teachers but the feelings for them are just different.
Tian Ling gave me my skills, the start of my journey in cello.
Mr Chua helped to build up my foundation and trained up my ears (but my ears still need more trainings lol)
But 陈老师 teaches me more than all these.

I think I will be very sad when that day comes.