Don't think that the plan for going to Aussie will work out anymore..

The dates are too pressing for a proper trip.

Bye exciting adventures in Sydney/Newcastle/Brisbane/Gold Coast,, bye DreamWorld, bye MovieWorld, bye Clam, bye Paul =(
Sorry..

I love my cello teacher just like that.
She's awesome :')
Not to mention, a very charismatic individual.

University of Birmingham has replied to say that they will be offering me a place in the Law programme in their school.
This is like a dream come true for me.
For I know that I am once again one step closer to attaining my dreams, just like how it was like when I knew that I was in TP's law and management course.

But amidst these joy, I cried. I didn't know the reason for the tears, but it definitely wasn't tears of joy.
I sensed uncertainty, sadness, fear and other negative feelings in those tears.
I feel that there has been so many unfinished stuffs on my part and I can't put my mind at ease to leave. It's not like I am never ever coming back, but it feels that these unfinished stuffs can't wait.
I don't know if it's right for me to go now, or should I wait till it's over before I go.
But when will I know when will these unfinished business be over?
Is it selfish or right of me to go and pursue my dreams at this critical point.

All along, I knew that there were more than just my cello stuffs that is bogging me, but I didn't know exactly what other matters were keeping me so fidgety.
Only now, after a small discussion with my mum, did I realise that she was my biggest worry.
Yes, I am worried of my mum.
Despite her experiences in life, she is still my biggest worry.
I won't be able to protect her when I'm in such a faraway land, what's more with the time difference.
I don't want to ask her to stay up and accommodate to my time if she needs my help because she will be tired, but she wouldn't want to disturb me either, so she won't approach me even if she need help.

I feel like a paper that has been scratched and torn into strips.

I have done nothing wrong, and I don't see why should I be avoiding him-.-
I don't know why am I even bothering about him, but his presence just disgust me.
Seriously, -.-

Don't know if I should start spamming dramas =/

It has been 4 years since my grandmother departed; 14 years since my grandfather departed.
Apart from the very dream I had of her days after her cremation which I woke up in tears, I haven't dreamt about her all these years.
Not that I don't want to or if I'm heartless, but she probably didn't want to appear in my dreams.

Out of nowhere, I dreamt of her suddenly last night.
During the dream, there were loads of fuzzy feelings going on and off.
But ultimately, she brought us all warmth and happiness.
Something that none of my uncles or aunts has been able to accomplished so easily and naturally.

Can't help but to question myself why am I doing what am I doing now.
Why should I not do what I am doing now?
Where will it lead me to?
What if I don't continue with what I am doing now?
Will I have regrets in the future?
What if it is the actions of mine now that make me regret in the future?
What am I going to do with it in the future?
How is it going to interfere in my future?
Too many who, what, where, when, how.