2016 passed by so quickly.
So many memories which felt like just yesterday were actually a year ago.
I'm astonished by how quickly time flew.

So much have happened in the past year and so much has changed.
My first bridesmaid experience, first time experiencing free fall, first time achieving a kayaking cert, first break up and ok I can't remember what else already lol.

In the coming year of 2017, I hope that it will get better for all of my friends and family.
And I ask for an easy year ahead.
Cheers!

Don't know why but this feels like an endless loop.
First, my dad.
Now, me?

Will this christmas be a lil special?

Christmas is round the corner again.
Time really flies isn't it.
While I'm supposed to be studying for my mock exams now (which I know that I'm prolly gonna fare pretty badly), I'm thankful for what I have now.
I had more, I had less, that matters but I guess it isn't the most important. What's important, is to be grateful for what I have.
I don't deny that my desire to strive has been decreasing throughout this period, life just seems pretty questionable to me sometimes. Like why do we strive for so much in life, what's it for, etc.

Guess I'm alittle lost with life again, I mean.. I don't really know what am I striving for now. Really. A part of me don't wanna head on the workaholic route, but again, I believe that's cause I have been rendered powerless/control-less for quite a period of time, and hence the complacent or laidback approach in life. But I'll get it back, I have to and I will. Let's just fight on and make the future a better one. Even if it's a meaningless one, HAHA, I'll find my purpose someday again.

Merry Christmas my friends. Wish for you guys to have a warm and joyous christmas. <3>

SYCO 2015 has officially ended for me, working part-time now at IFS Capital, and studying part-time with UOL.
Kinda tired, but this is just the beginning.
Till next time, ciao.

Hi Jas,

If you see this, remember this, stop stressing yourself up with the result, just give it your best shot and accepts what come towards you. Stop worrying. All the best! (Y) <3 p="">

I hate you for bringing reality back into my face. It hurts. So bad.

I am a fighter. I will survive.
I've got back my strength.
I'll help myself if no one will, because only I can help myself.
I'm capable of more than just this. =D

A leopard never change its spots.
How True.

Dear Diary,

It's been long since I've taken a real and proper break away from life. So much has happened in the past 2 years of my life that it seem just yesturday that I've graduated from TP.

Two years, two long years indeed. Turmoils, adventures, life lessons.
It's been eventful; tried out many things that I've never thought that I'll do, nothing illegal though (duhhhh).
Drink, drank, drunk; Been there, done that. (Literally.)
As compared to the youthful and willful me back then, I feel that I've changed quite a bit.
I'm not sure if these changes of mine are for the better or for the worse, though some of it are quite regretful, but I'm thankful for the changes because I've learnt invaluable lessons to make me not take life for granted.

The world is a nice place. It is the people who lives in it that makes it a wonderful or horrid place to live in.
Because of the things that everyone has to deal with in life, that molded the way they react to things that happens around them.
Some judged people, some fear being judged.
At the end of the day, being a judgmental person doesn't help because life's too short.
Why bother holding other's opinions of you so tightly when that person is of no value and significance to your life. They'll never fully understand life until they've experienced it.

Because of all that has happened, I've learnt that the more we try to keep things in our control, the harder we'll break when our plans fail us.
Saying that, I'm not saying that I'm going to just live life as it is and waste my life away.
I'm just saying that there's too many things that can potentially fall out of our control due to external factors which may or may not affect us internally.
And just because things fall out of our control, it doesn't mean that it's the end, for life is all about taking chances.
As we pave our individual stories, we'll learn invaluable lessons; no matter its significance.
At the end of each chapter, it will all end with a proper closure.

As for my studies, this break is not a closure, but merely a break away from it. Though this path of mine isn't one typically taken, especially with the standards that every Singaporean is following, I believe that this will do me good. The journey ahead will be tough, but a midst the bitterness will I find sweetness. When things are already at the bottom for me, this just meant that what's left will just get better for nothing can be worse.

May 2014 be a better year for everyone.

With love,
Abigail.

I've always placed others' interests before mine.
That isn't fair to me.

News of it is out.
I've resigned from my position in Singsoc.
Hard to just let it go like that now, but it's time to place my own interest before others.

All the odds may seem to be against me now, but I believe that things will work out somehow. 

GO ZM!

Every child takes upon their parent either by characteristics or lifestyle habits.
I guess the reason why I am who I am now was because I never had anyone to accompany me since young.
By accompanying, that is to say study with me, eat with me, play with me and other normal daily activities. That is why I'm always out, looking for activities to keep me occupied. For I guess that was what I taught myself to shield myself away from the loneliness monster.

My mum, sis and dad never had time for me.
They were mostly occupied with work and just work.
They never wanted to waste time (which we could also say spend time in a nicer manner) playing with me. If they were to bring me out or anything, it will always be for a purpose.
For example, I have to go for abacus classes, tkd classes, get groceries, go out for dinner because no one is cooking.
Maybe this is why I always need to know what am I going to do and where am I going to feel secure and to know what will I be encountering.

Saying that, always being out has exposed me to a great variety of people, which I've learnt since young to never trust anyone easily.
And maybe that's the reason why I used to be very quiet and reserved with my actions.
However, I was fortunate enough to meet some really great people in my life to show me that kindness is everywhere and comes in every single form.
I believe that I am actually an introverted person, for that was what I am until secondary 2 where circumstances forced me to force myself to appear to be an extroverted person.
I guess the change was good, but I know that that's just my form of self defense.

Now that things have changed, I have to change the way I react to my environment.
But is it really necessary?
That is what I loathe about life.
Just as you were adapting to things, life changes.
I guess, this is also what makes life interesting.

I've only been away for 6months and you've been so insecure.
How will you behave this time if I'm intending to be away the entire year.

Just watched Hachiko on the train back to London from Paris. The show is saddening.
Tried to hold in my tears but the emotions that were invoked while watching the movie was too overwhelming.
The feelings and relationship that has been established between the owner and Hachi is something that is so rare.
How often do you see such loyalty between humans, needless to say about humans and animals.

Turning 21

It's my turn to be 21 now after celebrating so many other's 21st.
As compared to a year ago, my life has changed a lot.
My surroundings have also changed quite a fair bit.
As I'm typing now, I'm situated in a rented apartment in France.
Who would have thought that I would be so far away from home a year later doing things I never once thought I would do.

With all the thoughts streaming past my mind, I can't help but think of all the what-ifs.
Whenever I wanna drown myself in self pity, a part of me will pull me out of it and remind me of all the other things in life that I should be grateful for.

Sometimes, I feel that even though I'm only 21, I've been through all the stuffs that some others would not even go through in their life in the future. Because of the circumstances that I'm in, I'm forced to mature even faster then I'm supposed to. But does this means that I'm lacking in a lot of other stuffs since I'm not experiencing what others should be experiencing at this age?

Nonetheless, I'm thankful for having all the blessings, concern and love from all my friends and family. They are the ones who fills the gaps in my heart. Thanks for always being there for me.

Just 1 more paper till liberation!!!!! At least till my results are out =/
But for now, I can't wait for exams to be over!!
Please pray for me that I pass all of my papers.

到最后,回想起小时候爸爸是怎么的疼我和爱惜我,心里还是不由自经的痛了起来。可能这就是为什么妈妈想要坚持下去的理由吧。想看看他是否会发现自己的错,想要悔改。现在回想起来,我真的不知道自己当初是有了什么力量,能够坦然的处理整件事,定下判断。当时的我,应该是个无情又残酷的人吧。我有很多的问题想问你,但你会老老实实的回答我吗。自己很想原谅你,但又害怕自己会再次的被你出卖,也怕如果原谅你,妈妈和姐姐会觉得自己被背叛。怎么办。

And this is why they say "the one who hurts you most are the ones that you love the most."