I don't know why but I felt very sad when I saw the YOG flame being put out and passed on to Chinaaa.
Arghhhhhhh =(
I think it was because I didn't get to get tickets for both the closing ceremony and one of the tkd event.
Hais =(
Despite all the mishaps, I still felt that it was a job well done for a first timer.

Life has been too relaxing for me recently!
Not that it is a bad thing, just that.....I'm suppose to be studying for my exams!
I've went on a short trip, enjoyed myself and I don't know what else to say but I've done alot of things to relax but have yet to start hitting my books.

That is not a good thing because I'm almost practically totally lost for BA because I told myself that I will study it during the one month break. And at the look at it, my days are practically almost everyday filled with activities or me slacking around watching dramas that I have not got to watch during the semester break. Oh man.

It's been very long since I did a proper post with pictures and stuff. But it seems that I no longer know what to blog anymore! =/
Just like in the beginning when I started this blog.

I feel so upset with myself for not purchasing a yog ticket earlier. =(

How are you my friend?

Today has been an awesome day!

It was such an awesome feeling to be able to perform with all my seniors again!
Ok, not all, but most of them, especially those who taught me so much during my stay in nasco.
All the fun we had while waiting to perform, laughing and smiling it off when we played mistakes.
To conclude the entire performance perfectly with our imperfections.
Fulfilling one of my wish since sec 3 of getting to perform with all of them again even after they graduate. =DDDDDD

Seeing Tian again after like er......6months? brought me a funny feeling.
Like we were once so close though she always scold me hahahahahaa, till it seem a little weird that we were yet that distant just now.
Afterall, she has been a person whom I respect alot for all the skills that she have equipped me in my entire journey in nasco.
Sometimes, I just miss her.

The end of this performance meant one load off my shoulder.
But I would like to perform with my cello seniors again and again and again!
Even to the day where we are all old and working, it will be such an awesome thing!
I love you guys! Hahahahaha

On a side note...Pauline is back! Like for real, permanently!
Another worry down for she is no longer in that land of worries(from the time those red shirts wreak havoc to now its state of being pretty peaceful).
The hug which was so real felt so unrealistic! HAHAHA

Now that all these are done, I'm left with only 24hours to chiong my Fam law report which is hardly started on and I'm so dead but I will work hard tomorrow for the sake of my results and to be thankful for all the happiness I experienced today.

I realise that I have grown to like hugs because that is a way of me expressing myself saying that I miss you and I feel comforted and assured everytime I get a hug from my friends who I care.

Apparantly...I am experiencing micro tears on both thighs-.-

Since the start of this semester, I have become harsher and last forgiving towards others.
I don't exactly know what caused the change in me, but I don't think it was a good change.
I just don't know what should I do.

At the same time, I forgone and missed out so much things in life while fulfilling my commitments and passions.
For now, I don't have the confidence to say that all these is worth it.
I hope it will be.

At the end of the day, we are all alone.

My godddddddddddddd.
Today's training was hell, but loads of fun, hahaha.

I have never regretted joining the choir when I was in primary school.
Very often, I would take out my past scores and look at it.
Sometimes I hate myself for not choosing to stick with choir and taking up all other crap which makes me so frustrated with it.
Listening to classicals excessively is making me irritated with it.

Have been very passive and pessimistic.
That's not how I am supposed to be.
I was once happy and optimistic and determined.
I have to be back up again because I can't afford to be like that.
I am not going to waste myself like that.
I have to buck up.
Go zengmei, get your life back!

Felt as if I was screwing my own life up gradually.

I like my teacher's sense of humour.
Where's your best friend? *points*
Not this, another one. *points*
Not this either, that particular one. *oh, we're no longer friends*
Die. Been too much of a dare devil and been liking confrontation too much. Die.
Where's my cool.

And so my weekends was spent resting and enjoying myself with simple random things that you would never expect yourself to be doing.

Pauline came out of my computer screen for a night.
Not seeing her in a virtual world seems quite a little inrealistic.
But because she was here for such a short period of time, it seems as if it was really a fantasy.

This time round, her departure was a happy one for we all know that we're only 27days away from seeing her back again; as compared to the previous one which was 3-4months away.

Time will fly really really soon that she will be back in just a wink of an eye.
I await for that day for I believe that I will be pretty much back on track because what I may need is time.

sectionals today was I don't know what to say, lol.
It wasn't exactly interesting until later part of the day where mr chua played the cello with me, lolllllll.
Play with me leh! HAHAHAHA

I sucked badly though hahahaha.
I mean, we were playing the 2part practice song that he gave me as hw for lessons because i just can't seem to play triplets well. hahaha
I can't count properly after playing triplets, lol i sucked so badly that the other part was sooooo easy for sight reading and yes I could play that normally because though I suck in cello, I don't suck that much. But I couldn't play it! Lolllll.

And I was feeling so apologetic the whole time for not being able to play well and sight read fast enough that my confidence kept dodging and I played super softly especially for the parts where I was hoping to smoke through.

Interesting and exciting but arghhhhhhhh pressurising! LOL But I like it! LOL

I said to pauline that I'm feeling so hyped from the playing just now and as if mr chua was my drug, LOLL.
And I said to her that after today, I think if I have to choose a partner, I will choose one who can play the cello with me, lollllllllll.
And she said that she can be my life partner! HAHAHAHAH

I have 3 cellos at home now, ahpaul's, botak yuren's and mine! So exciting! CAN PLAY 3PARTS CANON! Can't wait for saturday!
And my house seem to be a warehouse for temporary abandoned cellos, lolllllllll.

I want to share this! LOL
I'm impressed and amazed by myself, lollllll.

i'm dyingggggggggggggggggg.
Illegality is killing me.
WTHHHHHHHHH.
Case law, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Realise how useful Halsbury is, haha.

I think that I've accumulated alot of good karma in my past life to be so fortunate in this life.
Hahahahahaha.
Even though I don't really believe in past life and stuff, I just want to say that sentence hahaha.

Because seriously........I haven't been a very good person these few weeks/months?
My temper has been growing, my patience has been dropping and just everything bad is growing.

I was wanting to just have some time alone for myself. Not having to do anything, to think of anything, to care about others feelings.
And when I saw the two cakes, especially the one with Pauline's name on it, I felt so loved, touched and fortunate.
I don't know how can I describe the feelings I had.

And because of that, I don't know what kind of day should I say I have for my 18th birthday.
I just really really really really want to say thank you.

I have been taking things for granted.
I have been a bad friend.
A horrible person.
I'm sorry.
I hope its not too late for me to find back the old me..