guess today just wasnt the day for me.

even after 49days, im still pissed whenever i see that monk.
i seriously want to curse and swear at them.
but i cant.
for that is my grandma new residential place.
all the feelings i have within me..
i dont know how to get rid of it.

sometimes i just cant stand the way the adults does things.
be it you are tired or what, thats not the way to do things.
sending my grandma off should be a completed event.
not only you, others are also tired too.
who are you to deprived the others to stay behind to see the whole thing is done properly just because you want to leave first.
im seriously upset with those kind of behaviours.

i started thinking and things got me sad.
when i really need someone there for me, its hard to find one.
though one musnt expect to get exactly back what they give for friendships, but being as a human all the same..
i cant help but just feel sad.
im sorry for not being able to be there all the time when you need me just like this morning when the timing was seriously too wrong.
but i felt horrible in the late afternoon when everything ended and i couldnt find one.
while going through my contacts, i hesitated while thinking of calling them.
reasons varied from how far they lived given the fact that i said i will be home at 6plus when it was already 4plus.
and given that short period of time, if that person i called lived somewhere far, i feel bad for making them travel.
i wasnt in the mood to talk.
i just wanted the accompaniment.