不知道为什么，心里一直平静不下来。
对这次的演出，有很多的感触。

Never have I thought that I will feel like this towards SY.
I once thought of giving it a try, but when things didn't turn out very pleasant the first time, I kinda told myself to just survive through it for the sake of doing so.

Somehow, some way and somewhat along the way, I guess things changed.
I got used to how it is like to interact with the cello/bass peeps and I'm kinda grateful that they are there during practices because nonetheless, they have provided me with accompaniment in some way or another.
This will probably be the last concert that I will be performing with all of them as the next SY concert in sept will be an ensemble one and not everyone is performing for it.

Since end Jan till now, it's been about 6-7 months.
To call this period of time short, it aren't exactly short but it isn't very long either. For a place where hardly any bonding has been done, it is already surprising for me to have feelings towards them.
Nonetheless, I've learnt and improved during the short time there.
A fellow member asked if I will be joining SY next year. 
To be honest, I won't mind joining it again because of the experience and exposure that I will gain.
But whether they will want me back in is another thing.
I can't even make it for the audition, not to mention that I won't be able to make it for the practices although I will be able to make it for the concert.
说起来，还真有点舍不得。


Another part of me is feeling scared because I guess this is reminding me of the fact that yes, July is coming to an end.
Not only does it mean that August (cello exam) is coming, but that also meant that September is creeping by soon enough.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to cope with all these emotions.

When people questioned me about what made me so daring to apply to study overseas, it wasn't a matter of being daring to me, it was more of a matter of pursuing what I want and I have to survive through it no matter what.
But at the same time, I'm starting to feel scared being all alone. =/