I have never regretted joining the choir when I was in primary school.
Very often, I would take out my past scores and look at it.
Sometimes I hate myself for not choosing to stick with choir and taking up all other crap which makes me so frustrated with it.
Listening to classicals excessively is making me irritated with it.

Have been very passive and pessimistic.
That's not how I am supposed to be.
I was once happy and optimistic and determined.
I have to be back up again because I can't afford to be like that.
I am not going to waste myself like that.
I have to buck up.
Go zengmei, get your life back!

Felt as if I was screwing my own life up gradually.

I like my teacher's sense of humour.
Where's your best friend? *points*
Not this, another one. *points*
Not this either, that particular one. *oh, we're no longer friends*
Die. Been too much of a dare devil and been liking confrontation too much. Die.
Where's my cool.

And so my weekends was spent resting and enjoying myself with simple random things that you would never expect yourself to be doing.

Pauline came out of my computer screen for a night.
Not seeing her in a virtual world seems quite a little inrealistic.
But because she was here for such a short period of time, it seems as if it was really a fantasy.

This time round, her departure was a happy one for we all know that we're only 27days away from seeing her back again; as compared to the previous one which was 3-4months away.

Time will fly really really soon that she will be back in just a wink of an eye.
I await for that day for I believe that I will be pretty much back on track because what I may need is time.

sectionals today was I don't know what to say, lol.
It wasn't exactly interesting until later part of the day where mr chua played the cello with me, lolllllll.
Play with me leh! HAHAHAHA

I sucked badly though hahahaha.
I mean, we were playing the 2part practice song that he gave me as hw for lessons because i just can't seem to play triplets well. hahaha
I can't count properly after playing triplets, lol i sucked so badly that the other part was sooooo easy for sight reading and yes I could play that normally because though I suck in cello, I don't suck that much. But I couldn't play it! Lolllll.

And I was feeling so apologetic the whole time for not being able to play well and sight read fast enough that my confidence kept dodging and I played super softly especially for the parts where I was hoping to smoke through.

Interesting and exciting but arghhhhhhhh pressurising! LOL But I like it! LOL

I said to pauline that I'm feeling so hyped from the playing just now and as if mr chua was my drug, LOLL.
And I said to her that after today, I think if I have to choose a partner, I will choose one who can play the cello with me, lollllllllll.
And she said that she can be my life partner! HAHAHAHAH

I have 3 cellos at home now, ahpaul's, botak yuren's and mine! So exciting! CAN PLAY 3PARTS CANON! Can't wait for saturday!
And my house seem to be a warehouse for temporary abandoned cellos, lolllllllll.

I want to share this! LOL
I'm impressed and amazed by myself, lollllll.

i'm dyingggggggggggggggggg.
Illegality is killing me.
WTHHHHHHHHH.
Case law, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Realise how useful Halsbury is, haha.

I think that I've accumulated alot of good karma in my past life to be so fortunate in this life.
Hahahahahaha.
Even though I don't really believe in past life and stuff, I just want to say that sentence hahaha.

Because seriously........I haven't been a very good person these few weeks/months?
My temper has been growing, my patience has been dropping and just everything bad is growing.

I was wanting to just have some time alone for myself. Not having to do anything, to think of anything, to care about others feelings.
And when I saw the two cakes, especially the one with Pauline's name on it, I felt so loved, touched and fortunate.
I don't know how can I describe the feelings I had.

And because of that, I don't know what kind of day should I say I have for my 18th birthday.
I just really really really really want to say thank you.

I have been taking things for granted.
I have been a bad friend.
A horrible person.
I'm sorry.
I hope its not too late for me to find back the old me..

wanling baked an ORANGE cake specially for me!

There's this flu bug going around attacking everybody.
I don't know how, I don't know why, but yes, it found me.
This is not helping when there is so much to do for the camp.
Occasionally, I have the thought to just forget about it, just forget and cancel the camp man.
But yet again, everyone's effort will be wasted. Sheesh.

I found another twin today! LOL
And that is weilin!
As said by the mensa drinks auntie, lol!

After much thinking, I decided to head down to nas today to have a look at like the scores.
Jialat, like if you count weekly, it's just like 8practices away from the concert, haha.
And so far I've only seen the scores for one piece.
Thought only Stacia would be there, but guess what!
Yanying, stacia, vick and huiling were there as well!
Hahaahahah, it sort of felt like a reunion to me!
Like the few main seniors in cello that started my journey in CO were there.

Coincidentally......we were all one batch after one another!
Felt as if I was in sec1 again for that brief moment, apart from the fact that I didn't have to stay in the erhu room and hear them(the orchestra) playing outside, hahaha.

If I didn't go tonight......I would not have met them!
And the opportunity cost for that was that I could have gotten my belt today from Pauline mdm if I went for tkd, haha.
Opportunity cost, wth, so econs.

Bye world! (need to sleep, loll)

Lol, this is ancient man. Hahaha
But guess what, this was what my tkd instructor showed me after seeing my pm, lollllllllllllllllll.

Can't help but to wonder how in the world did I accumulate so much karma to have so many nice people around me that I feel that I suck. Haha.

Show a little kindness!

Went cycling today with the fruits today!
And.......I still can't cycle well, lolllllllllllll.

Had an adventure of my life today as a lousy cyclist and almost knocking down 2people, lollll.
And after all my crashings and dropping of the bicycle on the ground, the bicycle made weird creaking sound hahahaha. And Terry was very nice to risk his life of taking over my creaking bike and lend me his, hahahahaha.

And the world is kind afterall!
For random strangers bring iodine or medical stuffs with them and help people in need!
They aren't afraid to show kindness!
But you don't meet them everywhere!
That's what we need to make the world a better place to live in!
Especially so when the world is dying!

It is such a nice feeling when everyone is looking out for one another!
Really! Even when it is not expressed.

And monopoly deal is funnnnnn!
HAHAHAHAHA, it's a little like 'I'm the boss'.
So much for the 'no hard feelings' when yongsing counted the number of times I attacked him.
And I didn't had beginner's luck!!! Lol.
I was so close to winning like twice, and damnnnnnnnnnnnn someone else wins.
And I can't multi-task for nuts. Hahahaha

To end off this post........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JELLY! (HAHAHAHAHA)

Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm living my days as if I'm having my holidays already, lol!

Don't know Y didn't come!

Very jazzy feeling! =D


Elmo is so lucky to have all these people singing to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sang this when I was in my primary school choir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


for Pauline! C IS FOR COOKIE, COOKIE IS FOR ME ~~~~~~ =D

For TERRY and IVAN!!!

When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the cloulds darken up the skyway, theres a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain.........

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me,
Somewhere over the the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the raindow why then oh why can't I

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me,
Somewhere over the the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the raindow why then oh why can't I

If happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow
why oh why can't I!

Been checking my email so frequently.
But I always felt as if something was missing or not right.
It was only until after hearing VJCO's peng you then I realise what I was missing out on.
Despite opening so many mails, none of it meant a thing. Everything was purely on projects projects projects and nothing but projects.

I was suddenly reminded that we sang peng you for the farewell party we had in suzhou.
Yes, dumb and cliche of it to use that song, but well, the teachers told us to do that and yes, we did that. Haha, and I don't know why but I cried while singing that night, lollllllllllllllllll. So shameful! But the time spent there was fond memories.

The excursion spent with my buddy who gave me a lollipop the first time we met, hahahaha.
Her mum who was also their PE teacher o.O and her mum's burnt soup and da zha xie, and hahahaha, the two of them very cute!
And omg, the horror of playing toys early in the morning when I just woke up and the sharing of bed with someone I barely knew.
The breakfast I had with her after a late night spent out at some place and then strolling back to her house before getting ready to go shopping.
The daily running to and fro from her place to school because we always tend to drag time knowing that we are so near to the school.
Being mistaken for a guy by one of their english teacher and impressing everyone with my answer 'kingfisher', lolllllllllllllll.
The classroom which had aircon everyday, learning everything(maths and science) in chinese, omgggggggggggg.
Our happiness from getting to use the school com to log on to msn and chat, lolllllll.
And so much more!
Can't believe how livid those memories are that it feels like just yesturday when it was almost 3years ago!