Alottttt of things happened this week.
From the training camp to receiving results to chiong-ing programme booklet to interviewing the new main comm to making a decision to packing my stuffs.
Though its nothing much, but these stuffs has put me through alot of thinking, lol.
It's pretty simple actually, but I just had to complicate matters.
Loads of feelings within me now, with mostly being scared to excited.

All it takes is just a flight to and fro from UK and I'll soon feel that I'm all alone even though I know I'm not.
And then I will have to deal with the fact that yes, the seniors are graduating.
My seniors who have turned into my friends more than my seniors.

But no matter what, I believe that our concert will be a success.
Be it performing to a group of 80ppl or more, because everyone has work together to put up the concert as a team, it is a success.

因为我知道了他们的期望，所以不想让他们失望
但我却怕, 怕自己没本事

会让大家和自己失望

我的心很乱

I don't know what will I do if I have to give up on my aspiration.
But holding onto it is kinda difficult now for it is the future expenditure that is stopping me.
I always tell myself that no matter what, I will be fine financially as long as I don't use my 'future' money which is money on credit.
But again, it's not like I can't enter any of the universities offering law.

Looking at the practice schedule kinda make me sad. Haha
Something that we have all been working hard to make it happen, will finally be happening.
And yet I can't participate in the full process now, especially the process of practicing with everyone till the day of the concert and seeing it happen.
Like what weilin told me before, seeing the fruit of our effort.
The endless whines and complains from everyone over the long practice hours and everything.
But yet all these are my choices, so I can't complain...

Now that exams are over... it's time to go out and have some fun again!
And amidst those fun, I shall leave some time for co stuffs and do the best I can since it's only like a month more to stepping down? YES AHHHHHHHHH, heeheeheehee.

Everyone has their own hurdle to cross over, but I guess, it's just a matter of perception and how you choose to approach it.
The many ways that you can look at a thing to tell yourself how to move on to the next step.
Nothing can get one down for we are made this way. Made to go through ups and downs; without these hurdles, life would be boring isn't it!
So for all of my friends who are having troubles, just believe in yourself and things will be fine somehow, someday. =)

On a side note, studying for BA2 last night turned me into a horrendous monster. The anxiety, fear and helplessness simply got over me that I was behaving like a beast, and I'm feeling pretty remorseful for shouting at my sis. Not that I want to brag, but where can I find such a sister who can seriously bear with all my nonsense and yet never giving up on me and helping me in her own ways.
Knowing that I have been having late nights the past few days, she got me those bottled bird nest, even my mum don't buy those for me leh!(not that i'm complaining, lol). Sometimes I can't help but think that I'm the worst person among the people I know of that I ought to die, but I won't haha because someday I will do something else in my own way to show my concern for her.

Now it's time for me to search back for my motivation to play the cello, if not I'm not making any progress!
I'm thinking what should I do tomorrow, hahaa roam around the streets and slowly taking in whatever I see, stay home to practice cello, go date some friends out?

But for now, it's time for bed! =)

While I was teaching a separate group of students today, one student that I taught the previous week stood within an arm's reach beside me.

I asked him what was he doing, why aren't he going for break and playing like what the rest were doing.

He replied 'I also want to be in your group, so that you can teach me.'

This was the first time I've received such a reply and he obviously made my day. Haha!

I think CNY this year was probably one of the best for me so far.

Not comparing to those childhood ones. But for my teenage years.

Went all out to play and have fun like my holidays were here and I'd actually forgot about the things that I have to do!

But amidst those fun, I've neglected the feelings of some people but I don't know how to say that I'm aware of the things that they have done for me.

Now that the 4 days of break is over, I have to gear myself up again and finish up whatever I have to for this AY. At least get things done decently.

There's so many pictures that I want to share, but uploading pictures on blogger is like.......a hassle.

IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!

Hahahahah I don't know how to describe how I am feeling now but OMG I'M SO HAPPY HAHAHAH

Like finally!!!!!! I survived through all the projects, tests, tutorials, co, tkd, whatever this sem!

After my 2 tests today, I have nothing to worry abt!

Not until my end sem exams!

It's like a whole load off my shoulder for nowwwwwww.

Theres other minor things to do, but at least I know that it is slowly piling up and that I did not suffocate!

I survived through! =D

I can't express how happy I am, heeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!!!

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

HOW.

WHY.

WHO.

WHAT.

WHEN.

WHERE.

Help! Screw company law.

Not literally.

Passed my NCAP lvl 1 Technical too!

Time to focus on my projects! *needs sleep*

How far will you go to pushing the blame to others just to save your own ass? -.-

-looks at paper and feels sian-ed

friend : how much did you get?

me : not very good, 28 only

friend : very good what!!

-start thinking '28/40 or 50 like not very good leh'

friend : the paper over 30 leh

me : huh?! really!?!

-calculate the entire paper marks

me : really leh! OMG *Grins*

Hahahahaha, the year has been very good for me so far!

After much contemplation, I think I'm giving up the study trip to UK(UK leh! =/).

Since theres so many cons, plus the friend I'm closer with isn't very keen on it anymore because of those atas people who will be going and it has already been 2 months but there has been no news of it.

Maybe I will reconsider it if the trip is in April.

WHAT MORE CAN START MY YEAR WELL WITH KNOWING THAT I'VE PASSED MY POOMSAE COACH COURSE AND MUSIC THEORY ALREADY!

Only left with NCAP to worry about now, but I'm already very happy!

THERE ARE MIRACLES HAHAHAH!

But somehow I can't help to suspect that my instructor might have intervened in some things and that is why I passed because I don't see how I could have passed my practical for that course!

I'll see again....

Happy 2011!

Happy new year, pull your ears! (as said by my mum, I don't know why either-.-)

Gone with 2010 and here is 2011!

That's pretty fast actually!

I hope that this will be a better year....not that the past was horrible, but it wasn't exactly fantastic I think?

I don't know, but as humans, we'll always be a tad more greedy and wish for the better or more right!

Its weird that I'm home so early, not that early but a little early given that it's new year's countdown, and I'm wide awake!

How now, brown cow!

Music was good at timbre, just that I was hoping for everyone to be a little more high, just a little and it would be fine!

School's reopening on monday, which is like 2 more days to go!

Arghhhhhhhhhhh *runs around the room*

Got to buck up and be more serious and time to stop playing!

Hahahaha, I'll try to okay! Haha

Time's running fast and out!

Some resolutions for the new year(which I never really bother to think of or do normally) that I have thought for the split second just now..

I'm gonna be more hardworking!

I'm gonna be punctual most of the times!

I'm gonna play harder(of course not over my limits righttt)!

I'm gonna be more productive be it schoolwork, cello, tkd, co or any other things!

I'm gonna be more appreciative!

I'm gonna be more patient!

I'm gonna tryyyy to sleep early to save my liver!

These seems pretty attainable right??????????????????????

And so, this is my first post for 2011!

Happy New Year!!!!

Spent at least the past 20mins at least looking at my archives.

From the time I joined TPCO till now, so much things have changed.

But my experiences are definitely growing and getting better or for the worst. Haha.

I'm just overwhelmed by all my feelings suddenly.

Back then I was saying that I was not going to take music theory and further my knowledge in music.

Now..I'm actually going to go for more.

What in the world is wrong with me? Haha

Everything is always so unexpected that my words that were only said about a year ago seem to be just some nonsense that I was saying randomly for the fun of it.

Just what will life turn out to be for me?

Should go and pack to prepare for the dragz chalet tomorrow, haha.

Bye!

These are some of what that kept me entertained for the past 4 days

Good news for myself!

I passed my theory..

But I don't exactly feel that happy because I was expecting something more than a pass.

Well, a pass is good enough because that means that I don't have to waste anymore time and can proceed with my practical!

But I feel some disappointment and I don't know how to describe it.

I wanted to like tell weilin and mr chua with pride that I passed with merit (I was expecting a merit actually..) but looks like its not going to happen now. Haha

Siannnnnnnnnnnn.

I don't know if it is true, but I am going to save my liver by going to bed early now.

Hahaha good night world! It's not exactly that early either haha

At this point in time when my mid-sem tests are over, I'm not enjoying myself but am doing my tkd report.

Wth is wrong with me, I need to stop finding things for myself to do. Lol.

For the sake of being able to play the cello tomorrow, I shall persevere on and complete my tkd report asap, anyway it's due tomorrow also..so by hook or by crude I have to finish it.

If only the entire theory paper tomorrow is MCQ, I will love STF to bits.

This is what happens when you get an over dosage of something and you will want to do another thing.

And I seriously miss playing the cello so much that my heart literally felt itchy to play it!

Can you believe it!?

I can't! But it did happen, so I will. Haha

Now that I know that tomorrow will be over soon(which is the horror to why I want the weekends to end faster)...I am feeling pretty happy, although I know that I will die during my test tomorrow.

But no matter what, I will still give tomorrow my best shot because afterall.. I'm paying for this damn course on my own-.-

Sweet dreams world!

I'll find you after Sunday.

Hahahaha I can't believe I am actually feeling that jolly in a night like this.

Wth is wrong with me.