I hear the bells ringing

Don't know what to do for my company law project.

Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I ♥ lawnet -.-

Went for GY's 21st at downtown east!

It has been sooooooooooooooooo long since I met them and grace gave me a hug the moment she saw me!

I totally appreciated that! Because I miss them alotttt too. (She can read my mind, hahahahahaha)

Downtown east has never been so quiet before I think..and it was already empty and quiet when it was only 1am.

Stayed for the chalet unexpectedly, lollllllll, so that meant no clean clothes to change into, omgggg and my mind was pretty tired in fact.

Tried to do some company law to atone for my playfulness but I only managed to absorb 2pages and I gave up on studying to play, lollllllll.

Breakfast with a few of them at mac was awesome, not because the food was good, lol.

Been so long since we had a chalet together, went for early breakfast when we don't sleep at all(always happens, loll), chatted and just talk about nonsense stupid stuffs and sometimes even having our conversations made into debates.

But the feeling that came back to me, just made me felt so happy that I could be there, meeting up with them instead of being occupied with other nonsensical stuffs.

It has been so long since I got those simple happiness kind of feelings again.

Like for the 4years that we spent together in secondary school.. it was all wonderful memories no matter how much maths, physics and chemistry tried to kill me.

There was a short period where I even thought that we were having our holidays together again.

Ok, my post don't really make sense lah, but I just wanted to share how much I enjoyed their company, how much I missed it and how awesome it is to have them as my friends.

Bye!

All of a sudden, I find that I have changed.

I don't know how to explain that, but I'm pretty much disgusted by it.

I can't seem to put my heart into doing something well.

Even if I want to, I will waver somehow.

Hais.

what is the correct thing to do?

tell me where to go, how to go.

stop playing with my feelings.

I kinda miss you =/

Most of my weekends are going to be drain out this coming december. Oh no.......

I will have to stop my cello lessons for 3 weeks to attend the courses.

I hope that my school work and co stuffs won't drain me out =X

I've signed up for NCAP and poomsae coaching course but I don't think I'm qualified enough!

Plus I mia-ed for the past 2-3months for tkd, whoops!

Dieeeeeee.

On a bright side, if I pass both courses, I will be considered a qualified national poomsae coach and half a qualified tkd instructor!

I'm scaredddddddd. =/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!
I know you won't see this, but it's okkkkkkkkk. Hahahaha

I'm soooooooooo excited!

I'm going to catch Harry Potter later at Iluma!

Been so long since I had the HP craze in me, maybeeeeeeeee I will read the entire series all over again in my next long break, HAHA, that means it will be in like next march? Lollllll

My sis is going tw in about...... 6hrs time!

Lucky shit. Damnnnnnnnn I want to go too! If I simply hope on a flight, I can be in tw for abt 5days!(including flying over and returning)

Whatever!! I got to try to go on a getaway somehow =/

Need to get started on my company law essayyyyyyyy. Omggggggggg

Some things don't have to be said.
The amount of priority that it gets.
It all comes naturally with every slightest action.
I was once made to give it a higher position in my life and then when it got there, I see it all, it's being taken for granted.
One day when I'm disappointed and sick of everything, that's the end of it, I will no longer give a damn for whatever that happens to it.
Because sometimes, I find that it is simply just making use of me and it does not deserve any of my effort at all.

Here's some pictures to er.....update about some small events? Hahahaha
Went on a date with my mum and sis to celebrate her birthday earlier this year because my sis will be going to tw next wed. STUPID! How I wish I go to TW too, grrrrrrrrrr.

My mum's not that ahlian already highlight's hahaha

sichuan crispy red bean paste pancakes?

ee fu noodles with the meat from the roasted duck

beijing roasted duck? lol

steam cod fish! damnnnnn smooth, but I find it too smooth, lol.

chilli crab, not that nice=/

broccoli with authentic crabmeat! (y)

BBQ with chuiying, her mum, koknam, my mum, sis and I

qihao&dion is missing out all the

my sis takes nothing but jojo's picture, lolllll

at times like that, i get really confused.

I want to donate blood!

I've been to Australia, Suzhou, Shanghai, Hongkong, Macau, Taiwan, Cambodia, Vietnam, Phuket, Bangkok, Bintan, Batam, Penang, Genting, KL, Malacca.
I'm fortunate to have been able to travel to all these countries no matter what purpose is it for.
It may not have been the best one would have dream for. But it's satisfying enough right?

I don't want my actions to be a burden for my mum to carry because I have been a financial burden to my mum also imo, with all my financial draining interests. Tsk.
How.

The year is coming to an end. But I have nothing to my name. I have so many and so much doubts in my mind which makes me confuse and then I start pondering if my actions were right. What am I going to do now? I don't know why am I having so much doubts when I'm not taking my A's and have to plan my next route.

Speaking of which, my JC friends are sitting for their A's very soon, like tomorrow? I wish them all the best! Because they have all been working very hard for it, and obviously, everyone loves happy endings right.

And I still hate having doubts. I need to be sure of my life. And no doubt, I have to have control over my life.

honestly speaking, i feel very touched when i saw that message. hahahaha
but why so random.

I am having a love-hate relationship with saturday nowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I pray and hope and wish with alllllllll my heart that I will be able to do the paper and pass at the very least to be able to show my thanks to my deer for teaching me despite my hopelessness and helplessness knowledge of all these and for all the time she put in despite having her exams ongoing as well.

Can I please turn and be more hardworking overnight and start chionging.
Hais, I'm hopeless.
It's the first week of school where everything is suppose to be relaxing but I'm going to school everyday to study like some mugger.
I hope I will turn into one so that I can pass sat's paper.
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I wasted time and money once already, please don't let me do it one more time.

jialat jialat jialat.
I wasn't going to be late in the first place but somehow thanks to the traffic im the last to reach.

I'm going to get back my brave self!
It's a need, not a want. haha.

All I want to say is that I want to tell Mr Lim a belated happy teacher's day in real person.
He was one of the reason why I was contemplating to return to nas, but I didn't, saying that I will return the year after instead.
I'm ashamed/sad of myself for not being brave enough to take a closer look at him just now.
I won't comment on his fb and stuffs even though I want to because I find some of it so pretentious to just say deepest condolences and stuff even though its the truth, but it just seem as if it came out of their mouth so easily without any meaning.
I pray that his family will get on fine soon enough and hope that they won't face too much difficulties.
I want to visit Mrs Pong, Ms Yanti, Mr Thong, Mrs Teh, Tian ling, Josephine Lee and Mrs De Almeida like now.

I was packing my stuffs and reading again all those gifts, notes and cards and everything that I received for my past few birthdays and sec4 graduation.
I started thinking, what kind of person was I like in the past?
For all of them to appreciate everything that I've done.
What have I done, to deserve all those gifts.
For that, I'm very thankful.
And maybe, those are the friends that I will truely be in contact with in time to come, but who knows what will become of the friendships.

And then I started thinking what kind of person have I become.
Stepping into poly, facing all the politics, dealing with them, gaining survival skills, understanding others, etc.
Have I change?
Have I also started playing mindgames with some unworthy creatures?
Is it the right thing to do?
Am I becoming like them?
How will I know when to stop?

Maybe afterall, I was a better person in the past.
Am I a bad person already?

The past week was..........busy only ah! HAHAHAHA
Right after mooncake selling was prep for MA, glad that everything ended well even though there was sooooooo many things that happen in the process, especially the stupid rain which caused us to worry sooooo much!
Good job good job!
But I missed the dragz gathering, haha, sian....

Working for F1 at fairmount was everything but boring. Hahaha
Though I can't deny that E is irritating sometimes, but there were times when she was nice or funny.
And I guess sometimes what they all want is efficiency lah..so also not entirely her fault.
But oh man, it was hellllll tiring, hahaha.
Dinner over there was omggg.....horrible.
And then to be placed in a room full of good food was a tortureee.
Omg, those delicious looking desserts! and main course! Argh!!!!!!
But the job was fun because there were nice ppl there too.
I like Susan because I think that she's pretty! HAHAHAHAHA
But I haven't forgot julia! Hehehehehe =D

NIGHTS EVERYONE

My selling mooncake job is over.
I kinda feel more sad than happy about it being over.

On the brightside, I don't have to wake up at 8plus in the morning and nap to and fro on the bus already.
I can go out and play.
I can practice my cello.
No long hours of standing and selling mooncake.
That's all I can think of.

But if I'm still working, I can greet julia and crystal morning everyday.
Tease the both of them.
Joke around with them.
Have breakfast with them.
Do stupid things with them.
Exchange mooncakes with my neighbours.
Smile like a retard to julia.
Gossip about the man who does his duty everyday at 12pm promptly.
Cut mooncakes.
Talk about the pretty girl next next door with Crystal.

I don't know..
I just feel like that past week of selling mooncakes was a dream.
A sweet though tiring one.
I can even wake up at 9am now without the aid of my handphone.
How often is it to have such a wonderful booth manager to supervise and make things right but yet be your friend accompanying you.

Life at work has been good so far! HAHAHAHAH

Free mooncake on the second day of work! But I didn't want to eat it, so I gave it to my mum and sis to share.
Got an hour BREAK for nothing, SERIOUSLY nothing when I'm working, the irony, lolll. I went to shop and then took a short nap before returning from my break.
And then our booth manager, Julia, was so on that we can just joke crap with her, hahaha, and I feel as if I know her for quite some time already or what, when it's been just 3days since I started working, lolll.
A new week starts tomorrow and I hope it will be good too! =D

Exams are over!! But I felt as if it's been days since I had my last paper although it was only yesturday!
Hahahaha,caught haunted changi with my friends and I think it isn't really very nice.
Both my friend and I saw the bad ratings for the show but we still pulled the rest along with us to watch it. Lol, waste money only................

I've started working at parkway parade selling mooncakes till 19sept! Visit me leh!
Because it's very boring thereeeeeeee when there's nothing to do. =( Hahahahaha
I wondered how I survived working at robinsons the other time man.

YAY!! BA1 IS DOWN!!!!

1 more to go!

Good luck for your papers everyone!
I wish to get back my gpa of at least 3 again with allllllll my heart.

Can't wait for exams to end!!

MY INTERNET IS DOWN.
I'm sitting at the chairs near BLIC to leech on their internet connection to send out 2emails.
How pathetic is that!!!!!!!!!

I don't know why but I felt very sad when I saw the YOG flame being put out and passed on to Chinaaa.
Arghhhhhhh =(
I think it was because I didn't get to get tickets for both the closing ceremony and one of the tkd event.
Hais =(
Despite all the mishaps, I still felt that it was a job well done for a first timer.

Life has been too relaxing for me recently!
Not that it is a bad thing, just that.....I'm suppose to be studying for my exams!
I've went on a short trip, enjoyed myself and I don't know what else to say but I've done alot of things to relax but have yet to start hitting my books.

That is not a good thing because I'm almost practically totally lost for BA because I told myself that I will study it during the one month break. And at the look at it, my days are practically almost everyday filled with activities or me slacking around watching dramas that I have not got to watch during the semester break. Oh man.

It's been very long since I did a proper post with pictures and stuff. But it seems that I no longer know what to blog anymore! =/
Just like in the beginning when I started this blog.

I feel so upset with myself for not purchasing a yog ticket earlier. =(

How are you my friend?

Today has been an awesome day!

It was such an awesome feeling to be able to perform with all my seniors again!
Ok, not all, but most of them, especially those who taught me so much during my stay in nasco.
All the fun we had while waiting to perform, laughing and smiling it off when we played mistakes.
To conclude the entire performance perfectly with our imperfections.
Fulfilling one of my wish since sec 3 of getting to perform with all of them again even after they graduate. =DDDDDD

Seeing Tian again after like er......6months? brought me a funny feeling.
Like we were once so close though she always scold me hahahahahaa, till it seem a little weird that we were yet that distant just now.
Afterall, she has been a person whom I respect alot for all the skills that she have equipped me in my entire journey in nasco.
Sometimes, I just miss her.

The end of this performance meant one load off my shoulder.
But I would like to perform with my cello seniors again and again and again!
Even to the day where we are all old and working, it will be such an awesome thing!
I love you guys! Hahahahaha

On a side note...Pauline is back! Like for real, permanently!
Another worry down for she is no longer in that land of worries(from the time those red shirts wreak havoc to now its state of being pretty peaceful).
The hug which was so real felt so unrealistic! HAHAHA

Now that all these are done, I'm left with only 24hours to chiong my Fam law report which is hardly started on and I'm so dead but I will work hard tomorrow for the sake of my results and to be thankful for all the happiness I experienced today.

I realise that I have grown to like hugs because that is a way of me expressing myself saying that I miss you and I feel comforted and assured everytime I get a hug from my friends who I care.

Apparantly...I am experiencing micro tears on both thighs-.-

Since the start of this semester, I have become harsher and last forgiving towards others.
I don't exactly know what caused the change in me, but I don't think it was a good change.
I just don't know what should I do.

At the same time, I forgone and missed out so much things in life while fulfilling my commitments and passions.
For now, I don't have the confidence to say that all these is worth it.
I hope it will be.

At the end of the day, we are all alone.

My godddddddddddddd.
Today's training was hell, but loads of fun, hahaha.

I have never regretted joining the choir when I was in primary school.
Very often, I would take out my past scores and look at it.
Sometimes I hate myself for not choosing to stick with choir and taking up all other crap which makes me so frustrated with it.
Listening to classicals excessively is making me irritated with it.

Have been very passive and pessimistic.
That's not how I am supposed to be.
I was once happy and optimistic and determined.
I have to be back up again because I can't afford to be like that.
I am not going to waste myself like that.
I have to buck up.
Go zengmei, get your life back!

Felt as if I was screwing my own life up gradually.

I like my teacher's sense of humour.
Where's your best friend? *points*
Not this, another one. *points*
Not this either, that particular one. *oh, we're no longer friends*
Die. Been too much of a dare devil and been liking confrontation too much. Die.
Where's my cool.

And so my weekends was spent resting and enjoying myself with simple random things that you would never expect yourself to be doing.

Pauline came out of my computer screen for a night.
Not seeing her in a virtual world seems quite a little inrealistic.
But because she was here for such a short period of time, it seems as if it was really a fantasy.

This time round, her departure was a happy one for we all know that we're only 27days away from seeing her back again; as compared to the previous one which was 3-4months away.

Time will fly really really soon that she will be back in just a wink of an eye.
I await for that day for I believe that I will be pretty much back on track because what I may need is time.

sectionals today was I don't know what to say, lol.
It wasn't exactly interesting until later part of the day where mr chua played the cello with me, lolllllll.
Play with me leh! HAHAHAHA

I sucked badly though hahahaha.
I mean, we were playing the 2part practice song that he gave me as hw for lessons because i just can't seem to play triplets well. hahaha
I can't count properly after playing triplets, lol i sucked so badly that the other part was sooooo easy for sight reading and yes I could play that normally because though I suck in cello, I don't suck that much. But I couldn't play it! Lolllll.

And I was feeling so apologetic the whole time for not being able to play well and sight read fast enough that my confidence kept dodging and I played super softly especially for the parts where I was hoping to smoke through.

Interesting and exciting but arghhhhhhhh pressurising! LOL But I like it! LOL

I said to pauline that I'm feeling so hyped from the playing just now and as if mr chua was my drug, LOLL.
And I said to her that after today, I think if I have to choose a partner, I will choose one who can play the cello with me, lollllllllll.
And she said that she can be my life partner! HAHAHAHAH

I have 3 cellos at home now, ahpaul's, botak yuren's and mine! So exciting! CAN PLAY 3PARTS CANON! Can't wait for saturday!
And my house seem to be a warehouse for temporary abandoned cellos, lolllllllll.

I want to share this! LOL
I'm impressed and amazed by myself, lollllll.

i'm dyingggggggggggggggggg.
Illegality is killing me.
WTHHHHHHHHH.
Case law, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Realise how useful Halsbury is, haha.

I think that I've accumulated alot of good karma in my past life to be so fortunate in this life.
Hahahahahaha.
Even though I don't really believe in past life and stuff, I just want to say that sentence hahaha.

Because seriously........I haven't been a very good person these few weeks/months?
My temper has been growing, my patience has been dropping and just everything bad is growing.

I was wanting to just have some time alone for myself. Not having to do anything, to think of anything, to care about others feelings.
And when I saw the two cakes, especially the one with Pauline's name on it, I felt so loved, touched and fortunate.
I don't know how can I describe the feelings I had.

And because of that, I don't know what kind of day should I say I have for my 18th birthday.
I just really really really really want to say thank you.

I have been taking things for granted.
I have been a bad friend.
A horrible person.
I'm sorry.
I hope its not too late for me to find back the old me..

wanling baked an ORANGE cake specially for me!

There's this flu bug going around attacking everybody.
I don't know how, I don't know why, but yes, it found me.
This is not helping when there is so much to do for the camp.
Occasionally, I have the thought to just forget about it, just forget and cancel the camp man.
But yet again, everyone's effort will be wasted. Sheesh.

I found another twin today! LOL
And that is weilin!
As said by the mensa drinks auntie, lol!

After much thinking, I decided to head down to nas today to have a look at like the scores.
Jialat, like if you count weekly, it's just like 8practices away from the concert, haha.
And so far I've only seen the scores for one piece.
Thought only Stacia would be there, but guess what!
Yanying, stacia, vick and huiling were there as well!
Hahaahahah, it sort of felt like a reunion to me!
Like the few main seniors in cello that started my journey in CO were there.

Coincidentally......we were all one batch after one another!
Felt as if I was in sec1 again for that brief moment, apart from the fact that I didn't have to stay in the erhu room and hear them(the orchestra) playing outside, hahaha.

If I didn't go tonight......I would not have met them!
And the opportunity cost for that was that I could have gotten my belt today from Pauline mdm if I went for tkd, haha.
Opportunity cost, wth, so econs.

Bye world! (need to sleep, loll)

Lol, this is ancient man. Hahaha
But guess what, this was what my tkd instructor showed me after seeing my pm, lollllllllllllllllll.

Can't help but to wonder how in the world did I accumulate so much karma to have so many nice people around me that I feel that I suck. Haha.

Show a little kindness!

Went cycling today with the fruits today!
And.......I still can't cycle well, lolllllllllllll.

Had an adventure of my life today as a lousy cyclist and almost knocking down 2people, lollll.
And after all my crashings and dropping of the bicycle on the ground, the bicycle made weird creaking sound hahahaha. And Terry was very nice to risk his life of taking over my creaking bike and lend me his, hahahahaha.

And the world is kind afterall!
For random strangers bring iodine or medical stuffs with them and help people in need!
They aren't afraid to show kindness!
But you don't meet them everywhere!
That's what we need to make the world a better place to live in!
Especially so when the world is dying!

It is such a nice feeling when everyone is looking out for one another!
Really! Even when it is not expressed.

And monopoly deal is funnnnnn!
HAHAHAHAHA, it's a little like 'I'm the boss'.
So much for the 'no hard feelings' when yongsing counted the number of times I attacked him.
And I didn't had beginner's luck!!! Lol.
I was so close to winning like twice, and damnnnnnnnnnnnn someone else wins.
And I can't multi-task for nuts. Hahahaha

To end off this post........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JELLY! (HAHAHAHAHA)

Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm living my days as if I'm having my holidays already, lol!

Don't know Y didn't come!

Very jazzy feeling! =D


Elmo is so lucky to have all these people singing to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sang this when I was in my primary school choir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


for Pauline! C IS FOR COOKIE, COOKIE IS FOR ME ~~~~~~ =D

For TERRY and IVAN!!!

When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the cloulds darken up the skyway, theres a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain.........

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me,
Somewhere over the the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the raindow why then oh why can't I

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me,
Somewhere over the the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the raindow why then oh why can't I

If happy little blue birds fly beyond the rainbow
why oh why can't I!

Been checking my email so frequently.
But I always felt as if something was missing or not right.
It was only until after hearing VJCO's peng you then I realise what I was missing out on.
Despite opening so many mails, none of it meant a thing. Everything was purely on projects projects projects and nothing but projects.

I was suddenly reminded that we sang peng you for the farewell party we had in suzhou.
Yes, dumb and cliche of it to use that song, but well, the teachers told us to do that and yes, we did that. Haha, and I don't know why but I cried while singing that night, lollllllllllllllllll. So shameful! But the time spent there was fond memories.

The excursion spent with my buddy who gave me a lollipop the first time we met, hahahaha.
Her mum who was also their PE teacher o.O and her mum's burnt soup and da zha xie, and hahahaha, the two of them very cute!
And omg, the horror of playing toys early in the morning when I just woke up and the sharing of bed with someone I barely knew.
The breakfast I had with her after a late night spent out at some place and then strolling back to her house before getting ready to go shopping.
The daily running to and fro from her place to school because we always tend to drag time knowing that we are so near to the school.
Being mistaken for a guy by one of their english teacher and impressing everyone with my answer 'kingfisher', lolllllllllllllll.
The classroom which had aircon everyday, learning everything(maths and science) in chinese, omgggggggggggg.
Our happiness from getting to use the school com to log on to msn and chat, lolllllll.
And so much more!
Can't believe how livid those memories are that it feels like just yesturday when it was almost 3years ago!

same same, but different

The hardship, the joy, the frustration, the fun, were what once that took place.
At the same place, the same spot, with the same smell, just that time has change.
One by one, year by year, batches by batches, people are graduating.
Bidding farewells happens again and again and again.
But all these happens as time waits for no man.

That was a thought I had while I was at the reception area while helping guzheng to move their 'legs'. Haha.
But it's true isn't it?
One question solved!

Even though you've called and sms-ed to say that you will be fine and not to worry, I'm still worried.
In fact, I'm very worried.
How I wish I can fly over and fetch you back to Singapore now.
If only I have the capabilities to do so instead of just thinking and thinking here.

On a side note, I'm wondering if I should go and ask.

I have time on my hands now but I can't do my work.
How great is that.

PS. My tutor rolled eyes at someone in my group, lolsssssssssssssssss

JOKE OF THE DAY!

it's predestined says (12:21 AM):
anyway my mummy paid a deposit for a condo at downtown there
but the owner havent confirm yet
so confirm le then i will be staying next to the beach XD
zm. says (12:24 AM):
oh
but pasir ris bitch polluted lah
lol
it's predestined says (12:25 AM):
beach my dear -.-
zm. says (12:25 AM):
LOL

Sometimes the way life works simply make your world go topsy turvy.
in a day alone, I experienced 2 extreme ends of different feelings.
But it's not the time to say I quit.

Aren't things suppose to be back on track after so long?
I miss the times when nothing was my problem at all.
It's fine if they don't understand, but it is also not as if I am rewarded from doing all these, so shut your crap unless you can give me a better way out.
I need to find some other reasons to keep my faith for the reasons now are wearing out.

Tell me what is worth holding on for.

I feel like baking cupcakes. =(
But my house is in such a mess that I can't even fulfill that simple wish of mine even though I have a few hours off my hand to do something that I could share.
And I have no idea what to do for my mum for mother's day =(
I can't even do the simplest thing I have in mind now which is to bake, howwwwwwwwwwwww!

Suddenly

My Friends!

I wanted to blog about something. But I forgot what I wanted to blog about as soon as I got in.

Waiting in the library now for huiling and vick to come!
Been 2months or so since I last met her and vick.......probably since december?

I brought my BA book out with me thinking that I will probably do my tutorial while waiting. But looking at my mood now, I have no intention of touching it at all. Loll.

There's this very angsty person sitting opposite me in the lib. Don't ask me who, for I have no idea as well. Hahahahaha

I'm like just noting down all the random things that comes to my mind.

I feel that my blog looks so colourful with that picture there suddenly, lollllllll.

Woke up at 8am just for an hour's of lesson today-.-

I feel like sleeping now. But I can't =(

Mr Looi makes me want to laugh for nothing during tutorial today. Lol

It's been almost 5months since I last saw the dragonxz.

I decided to just stick to using that term since the people aren't official and somehow I feel more attached to the term the dragonxz. Haha
Hanging around with them once more was pretty awesome!
Like, I don't know how to describe the feeling, but I felt some warmth from it, especially while we were playing in the rooms.
And then suddenly I went remembering the fact that we had actually been classmates for 2years and like, so many things had happened during the 2years and everything came running back to me again.

How I miss the feeling of sitting in class with all of them around me, with zh turning behind to smile at me, Jo giving her braces smile or the 'zm!?' expression, cy's sleeping or bitchings in class, ck's 'whatever~!', qh's help on maths+bitchings(hahahaha),jeremy's 'sha mah~~' and all the other nonsense..

How I wished to stay for the chalet but I had to go because I was really a little tired plus I thought I would be having cello.
But then........to think that lessons will only be starting from next week onwards because of my forgetfulness. =(((((((((
Now..not only do I not get to attend the lesson that I'm anticipating for, I'm also missing out all the time I could have enjoyed with them after not meeting them for so long. And I don't even know when will be the next time we will be meeting because everyone's all busy with their own stuff.

It's 6.18 am now and I am still not sleeping because I'm waiting for my hair to dry.
How I wish that I could stop wishing.

Don't know why am I losing my composure over such a little matter. But well I am.
I don't think I'm like that normally right?
I can't think of the rational behind my behaviour and I'm feeling irritated over behaving like that.
Just like some spoilt brat.
But I seriously felt auffocated, irritated, disgusted and pissed at the simplest thought of it.
I don't know why either.
I don't like behaving this way especially making it known to others simply because of the way I react to it which is so @!$%$#^@(
But I HATE TO LEAVE DOUBTS IN MYSELF.
AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DECIDE AND IDENTIFY WHAT I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT.

For the sake of sleeping an hour more, I had to get out of my house without washing up and head to the toilet built under my block to wash up. Wth-.-

Holidays are ending so soon and I had much fun this holiday, but, it's human nature to be greedy and ask for more.........I hope I have enough laughter to pull me through this sem. =/

Shihui said something last night which made me went =(
sch starting = not able to see her much this sem =/
chances of seeing my seniors who are yet so much my friends getting lesser

Life's bad when everyone you love are getting further and further away from you.

TW Trip! + TNS + TPCO Chalet

I want to have another holiday at taiwan!

Like to really explore the different places, try out their public transport, drink their bubbletea and every other little things that you do on a holiday!

For now...I shall just do my mundane, yet exciting, yet interesting, yet fun experience update, hahahaha.

There's too many pictures for me to post here.........so well.....just visit my fb for the pictures then! HAHAHAHA

Day1 - Had a flight delay of 1hr in the plane and omgoodnessss pearlyn went MADDD. Hahahaha, we were both laughing like mad. Ok, I better cut short my updates instead of writing things one by one, if not I don't know when will i ever get to finish this post. Went for dinner at some science center place thing?

Off to shilin market for shopping of only 1hr plus? siansssss, all shopping trip like that de los. Ate loadsss of food, haha, not bad not bad, plus my bubble tea =D Oh and the day ended with laughing for about half an hour before we slept with shiyan and amalina, lolllllll.

Day2 - Went to NTUA and woah.....I like the feeling of playing in their orchestra, hahaha, just that my skills aren't there yet lah, like duh! lol.......plus the cello I used was very nice to play with! Like too good to be true that I'm using it. Huge packed lunch at the basketball court, lolllll, super big chicken!

And then off we went to jiu fen where I bought loads of tai yang bing there and ginger tea and jelly which made me look like I went on a shopping spree because there was so much things to carry. And then off we went to Ximending for dinner plus shopping where everything was about food food and food again. Not to forget my bubble teaaaaa!

Day3 - Went to NTUA for practice again, and wahlao!! COLDDDD too much details to complain about(of you-know-who), so I shall leave out those, because i'm trying to recall about 1month's old worth of daily memories! Then we went up the mountain to some place where there were antiques and records and those related, and shihui,yuren,weilin,janice and I had our own fun downstairs before joining the rest upstairs, but everything to be explained ended! So that goes to show how long we played =X LOLLLL. I was dead asleep on the coach to be immune to the noise the rest made, lolllllllll

Went to wufenpu to shop and oh man......not enough time not enough time not enough time! Bought a pair of boots!(wasted alot of time there because of waiting for the person to bring the shoe over =( ), bought 2wristbands without thinking, lolll(that started my shopping mood, hahaha), plus 3tees and we had to go =( There were so many other shops yet to be exploreddddd!

Went over to shihui's room and then hahhahahahaha, I was a mass destruction, it was the first night that pear jie and wanling stayed up till like 3plus, hahahaha. Went back to my room later and then we started laughing non stop again, loll.

Day 4 - Performance that day! Like finally, so that we won't have to practice again, I felt so inferior! Hahaha, but oh well, time to improve my skills, I want to undertake lessons again, but time is not on my side =/ It was once again coldddd and then off we went to the musuem in NTUA and then dinner at a restaurant and then shopping again! Hahahaha, but I can't remember what I bought, nothing much I guess. Oh oh! My cap!! =D hahahahaha

And then I had my daily dosage of bubbletea againnnn with snacking in shihui's room again with wanting and weilin and crystal too! And then we were laughing laughing and laughing again, lolllll. We even received a call from the reception to tone down =X HAHAHAHA

Day 5 - Went to yu ren ma tou and took loads of pictures there too! Didn't bother to really snap pictures the first few days because we were mainly in the school and I don't know why I didnt bother to take anything, but anyway....it doesn't matter! Lollllll. Then we were off to dan shui and I bought quite a number of small gifts there which are still with me now because I haven't met any of my friends who I bought those gifts for.

Bought my red bling bling specs there! Lol, my only regret for there is a hat which I didn't buy because at that point of time I was lacking in money(but had sufficient after that night), and the watch which I wanted; which I got, looks more practical then the hat. But nevermind......Had loads of food there too! Lolllll. Not to forget, bubbleteaaaa lol!

Went to this zi you guang chang and sun yat sen memorial hall which I don't remember learning anything there but just taking pictures and having fun, lolll. And then off we went to the 24/7 bookshop which had soooooo much books there but yet alot of cello scores were sold out, oh man!!!! But still, I got 2books from there, hahaha. And then we went to taipei 101 which we later decide to visit the next day and then off for dinner!

After that was a mad rush to catch a concert which I kept dozing off because I was so tired from the lack of sleep for the past few nights of sleeping at 4 or 5am and waking up at 7 or 8am. That was another regret I had because I couldn't appreciate the concert properly when there is so much of them for us to learn=/ Oh, and I love their chang cheng sui xiang qu!!!! Reminds me of so much memories in NASCO....And the other song that I woke up to hear was their encore piece, hua hao yue yuan, lol. I don't remember any other pieces that they played. The night was late, so we ended it by returning to the hotel, but then out we went again to carrefour which was 24/7 there where we all bought snacks(kinder surprise!) and stuff for the last night there to PARTAYYEE and loads of instant noodles, lolllll.

Then it was the packing of our lugguage = siannnnnnnnn. Went round returning money and collecting my properties which I left everywhere to pack my lugguage, lollllll. Supper plus laughing session at shihui's room again. Unfair! It will never be at my room because shihui's room ratio 3:1 wins mine, siannnn hahahaha.

Day 6 - went to taipei 101 and then it was photo taking session again, lollllllll. Then off to this place where all the scenes in those idol dramas were taken and me and pear jie were running around, lol, hoping to get to the place where they took xia yi zhan xing fu at, but oh man!!!!!!!! we had to meet F and we were told to turn back, siannnnnnnnnnnnnn. We were so closed yet so far, sian sian sian sian sian. And we ran one round round part of the place, lol, morning exercise, hahaha.

Off for lunch and it was the first and last quite meal we have in tw, lollll. Because we had to rush for our plane, so I jolly well shut up and eat and not make noise to waste time. But sadly, even when I eat quietly I get 'scolding' as well, lollllllllll. Then off we went to the airport and back to singaporeeeeee. Finally a good rest after so long but oh mannnnnnn I miss all of them like nuts, lol. The trip was full of laughing laughing and laughing which meant fun fun fun and nothing but fun! OH not to forget the lack of sleep I got from it too. HAHAHAHA

I have finally blogged about my tw trip with tpco! Ok, maybe it's just narration for you guys reading, but it's a keepsake for me so that I can recall what event happened at each place, so even if it is not EGG-citinggg enough, =P. Hahahahaha

Next up will be tns which actually I feel that there is nothing to blog about since I had to check into the hostel the very next day after getting home from tw which was sun and checking in on mon, so I was veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy tired and I don't know how I survived but I survived through the four days with loads of dozing off in class and rushing back to the hostel before 11pm, which always exceed, lolllllll.

Then in the 3days break, went kiteflying with the monsters? sounds weird calling them that, but well, they are the monsters, lol, but yet my amazing seniors. It was fun but DAMN, the kite couldn't go up whenever I try to fly it, I'm so gonna try it again. RAHHHHHHHH

Sent pauline off on sun and siannnnnnnnnn =/ I don't know why I did, but well I did. But it's already been almost 2weeks she left! So that means that she is 2weeks closer to coming back! Been chatting with her almost every night and webcamming with her almost everynight too! Lol, that was before tpco chalet. Hahaha.

Monday was back to hostel and I was totally dreading it. I don't know why was I dreading it so much, I guess it was compared to the fun I had from tw trip it was much lesser, thats why I didn't want to return there. But it was also because I was tired. And because I was tired, I didn't open myself up to make new friends as how I normally do and that was why I only got closer with my flatmates as in got better and closer then how we were in the first week on like the 2nd last day!? I know that is damn late, but yes that was what happened. And I had so much fun the last few days too. Stupid can! But well, I can still dig them out during school time! Hahahaha.

Then it was TPCO chalet(from monday-fri for me)and my body clock has been screwedd again. Lollll, with sleeping only at 9am, 7.30am or 8am and waking up at 12pm, 2pm or finally 3pm! on all the different days. Madnesssssss. And I guess that I'm really really tired that everytime I get to sleep I really conk off like a dead person. Both in TNS and during chalet, lolllll.

And though it was pretty disappointing that the attempt to make it a surprise fail(obviously..partly my fault since I had tns and couldn't start on it sooner), but well, I hope they like it. It would be really really really different now I guess =/ Arghhh musnt think about it now, if not, nvm nvm nvm.

And this is the first time that fire setting failed so badly for me. From 5.30-7.30, the set up for 2pit failed so badly that in the end only half the pit survived. Never once had I used up almost 30fire starter and I could still fail when the fire setting was so successful the other times I did. Kns, waste my energy only.

Spent my day sleeping today to return my sleep debts and I felt so good when I woke up! But I will be off to nua again because school is starting on monday and I don't have much time to nua anymore! Monday will be the day where I will be starting the routine of projects tutorials test and projects again, siannnnnnnnnnnn.

My holidays somehow just zooooooooooom past again this time round =/
If you survived through this super long post........ hahahahah, well, you survived! LOLLLLLLLL

Till next time!

Is it possible for one to have all their wishes come true?

I'm supposed to be doing my journal 3 for today, but I have yet to done anything productive today, lolllllll.
Today was simply spent nua-ing, and a little interacting with someone while taking a walk to get our stuffs completed, hahahahaa..
But up till now, I haven't done ANYTHINGGGGGGGG HAHAHHA

BYE
Going off, ttyl! LOL

I was SOOOOOOOOOO happy when you called.
Hahahah, gayness to the max!

I know that I would miss you much, but I don't know why I lost control =/
While I was on the bus, I don't know why but I started thinking of you, haha.
What were we doing the day before, all the teasings I did to you, all the random chats; short and long ones, all the stupid things we did and just everything.
I have yet to imagine how life would be like without you after seeing you everyday since thursday, seriously everyday, lol.
It's not very long, but it aren't exactly that short.
I started thinking about what date was it today and just realised that it's already april, school is starting soon.
Maybe july won't be that far away and will arrive soon, but it's really pretty long if you count the number of days I would see you normally if you were still in Singapore.
Do have a very safe trip and I want to see you soon.
Yes, I'm actually hoping for time to fly now.
But again, apart from seeing you again, I don't really want time to pass so fast because that means life is nothing but projects, lectures, tutorials, tests and all the other mundane stuffs.

3rd day into tns

Was fighting against time just now to get back to the hostel before the tutor does her night duty.
Just about after a minute I'm into the hostel, the door bell went, and guess who, yes, it was the tutor on duty.
HENG AHHHHHHHH.

Been dozing off alot in tutorials because the tutor seriously has her way into hypnotising people to sleep and not because I'm seriously tired.
Because when she doesn't conduct the lesson, I'm very much awake enough to get engage with daily activities, and I'm SERIOUS about that.
I can't wait for all these to end.

But I can't deny that she has been a very caring person who is willing to help, just that she haven't found the right way to help.
And she's making me feel guilty because I have been dozing off in her lesson.

This is what happened when I'm dead, but forced to be alive.

And this is what happen when I'm bored.

Pardon me, I need to do some senseless things to be able to tolerate more nonsense.

And the reason to why I haven't been laughing carefreely isn't purely because I'm tired, but also because the company is simply not right.

Taiwan trip updates another time.

Time for bed. Nights.

hostel alone

as my title says...............
I'm alone in the hostel now! With everything to myself!
Not that it is very wonderful.....
Since there is no tv, lol......

ok, come back again, off to peel potatoes now, bye!

Happy/sad

I'm back from Taiwan and done with Day1 of TNS.
Need loads of sleep to get fully recharged.
And I have loads of things to share.
But I guess that will have to wait till after thursday at the very least for now I'm drainedddddd.

Bye.

Everyone loses their mind when they are going overseas.
That is especially true for pear jie lol...she made me laughed almost non stop for an hour because there was a flight delay and thanks to her I was exhausted. Hahaha

today has been rather calm, just that there was a little commotion and I felt soooooooo down lol but it's ok.
Got to wake up at 7plus tomorrow providing that i'm missing breakfast and that is very likely hahaha.

Exchange program with the ntua starts tomorrow. I hope it won't be too bad.
Good luck!

Tomorrow will be a better day for you and me

It's 4 am now and I have to wake up at like 7 and head to the airport. See you guys soon! Bye!
There better be wifi in the room.

ROFLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Knew I could be up to some mischief using yr's msn to talk, hahahahaha!

[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
i realized
i got beehoon at home too
lols
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
so?
lol
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
i shall stay home and eat the beehoon
hahahaha
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
so you're not coming ah
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
lols
erm
nah
my mom got cook dinner
lols
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
ok
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
i will get scolding if i go out eat
lols

------------after a few minutes-------------------

Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
haha
ok lah
dont play with you already
lol
hahahah
did you think i was angry?
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
a bit
lols
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
but maybe not
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
(Y)
=D
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
eeyer
i still think think think
should i go down a not
did you mom cook a lot?
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
hahahahahah
dont know
she havent cook
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
lols ok
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
and btwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
im zengmei HAHAHAHAHAH
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
!@#$%^&*()_
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
i was trying to imitate yr's style and talk to you
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
!@#$%^&*()_
tsk
cheat me only
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
HAHAHAH
not entirely lah!
i realized
i got beehoon at home too
lols
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
so?
lol
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
i shall stay home and eat the beehoon
hahahaha
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
so you're not coming ah

all these is yr say out then i type
hahahh
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
no wonder
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
only the rest is me
hahahahahahahah
[pauL²ine]-[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅] says:
i really thought is him
i go suspicious when you gave the =D
yu ren dont use that
Its never ending ever since I started learning music......... says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
XDDDDDDDDDDd
LOL
ROFLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
HAHAHAHAHA
I FEEL LIKE LAUGHING OUT LOUD
but chuyuan is studying
LOLLLLLL

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SO FUN! =D

Just when I want my cello, it is stucked in studio 10 in school.

Love you mum!

You was soooooooo irritatingly cute when you obviously saw the message I left for you and then pretended to not see it and force me to say it out of my mouth even though we went out of topic with you prompting the topic back again 3-4times. RAH.
I know that you won't be seeing this but still, my title says it all.
It doesn't have to be a special day for me to thank you but I just had to say it out today. Because I had never once said it properly to you.
Esp after watching that cello video which showed me the extend of a love a parent can give and to understand how fortunate I am.

This post seem so ...*shivers*... as if it was some kinda confession or what.
But whatever, it's for my mum.
The idiot who gave birth to this brainless idiot. Hahahahahahaha

My mum bought larsen strings for me!
How awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I shall learn to be content!
Though it's a little stupid of me to not get G and C string, but well.......I feel the pinch, hahaha.
But I also think that the strings are a waste on me =/

已经决定的事
如果后悔
就会像在原地踏步一样
如果不往前走
我们永远都不会知道
现在走的到底对不对

HI GAIIISSSSSSSS!
Hahahahaha, I don't know why but I feel like posting that up, hahahahahah.

Look at this lame convo!
zm. says:
HAHAHAHAHA
LOLLLLLLLLLL
u say ur sch until so jialat
lol
Weiqi says:
it is jialat
and what is english word of jialat?
TERRY-BLE!!
zm. says (8:48 PM):
LOLLLLLLLLL

Ok, I totally forgot what I wanted to blog about, so anyway, here's some pictures, hahahaha.

My stupid ah-neh BF! lollllllll

Neoprintxwzzz Partial 1l04, lol

downsize of The People, lol

I was studying my ass off last week and now I'm enjoying my holidays! HAHA =D

Watch this!


You're a TOE-MAY-TOEEEEEEEEEE
HAHAHAHAHAHA =D

Food paradise

I'M TEMPTED TO GO INDULGE IN GOOD FOOD!
Good food doesn't mean expensive stuffs!
Like those food search at random places will do as well!
ice cream, cakes, waffles, and everything else! OMG
Any takers?

THE SMELL OF FREEDOM IN THE AIR!

EXAMS ARE OVER, LALALALALALA, HAHAHAHAHA

That means holidays are here, hahahahahahaha
No projects, tutorials and any whatsoever to think about of in the meantime!!!!!!
Till results comes out =XXXXXXXX
All pass please! With flying colours too! LOL, i wish lah hor, hahahaa.
I seriously wanted to pull up my gpa this sem, but at the look of my studying(so last minute) input, if i maintain i happy already, SERIOUS.
Can't improve at least maintain, lol.
Hahahahahahaha

And I have a sad life because all my classmates are like going home after the paper, lol, so no life, so i also no life los, hahahaha, lol.
Nvm, can date ppl out during hols =D
I now have all the time in the world to catch up with the people(though they will be busy with their schoolwork, but at least I can plan properly a suitable time whereby everyone can make it during their march hols)

Relaxation time =D
Cello time =D
Cy, you better spare me some time to date you out ah!
Been so long since I went out with you, 1-1 date, LOL, gayness.

BYE

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHA, ok it's not very early, but well....I had my sleep and now it will be studying for another paper again.

Crim law is finally over, not that I don't like it, but it wasn't as easy as I thought, haha, like the way to identify the different provision, and which to include which not to, which is the correct one, which provision to be read with what and all the misconceptions.
But well...the paper that I worry for the most is now over and time to start revising the other subjects.

ok, bye!
can't wait for exams to end!

Didn't study the entire week at all! LOL, must start mugging, hahaaha, have to lah, to pull up my grades=/
Well! that's not the main focus for today!

Happy CNY and valentine's day!
Been to a pretty pretty place for the past two days to help my mum's boss do a little deco and tried some food over there which was $$$$$$$ hahahaha.
My lunch for the day cost $45, which consist of a dish only!
Guess that's my pay hur? A costly lunch, hahaha. But it was worth the try =D

These DIY benches are done by the workers there! =O So talented

This tapas thing cost $16! =O

Bye guys!

Facebook addiction disorder? =X

SPENT LOADS OF TIME ON FACEBOOK THESE 2DAYS!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Spoke a little to zh just now and she said i sounded more lighthearted already!
Hahahahaha, was it that bad???
But I'm glad things worked out fine and yes, I'm contented.
Projects submitted, problems more or less settled, gotten a peace of mind, spent quality time with some of the people I want to, had sufficient rest, had fun.
That's all for now!

I wish for exams to be over realllllllllll soon!

Awesome seniors!

CO practices everyday for the past week and..... tpco's pretty impromptu concert is finally over!
It's good because no more practicing for those songs when we are not prepared at all and worrying that the concert will be very cui (didn't turn out as bad as I thought it might)

but........

It's bad because that means that the school year is coming to an end soon which also means that the seniors will be graduating VERY SOON =( while those going for their SIP will be away for quite some time too =(

Concert was fun because of the seniors, no doubt, and my debut playing of bass was successful! LOL(I think I played better on the bass then on the cello lah, wth, lol)
Jx has the hard cello casing which is pretty but so heavyy that it's like carrying a bass around which is way more inconvenient then my semi hard case hahahahahahahahaha
Went round taking pictures with lihyee's camera as if it was mine, lollllll

Met up with them again today for pearrrr jie's 21st birthday celebration and it was funnnnnnnnnny(looking at others :x) and awesome!
A good break away from school(all the chiong-ing of project works + presentation)
With yr's weird theory of enjoying the scenic view of HDBs in S'pore, lollllll.

I bet that these two days will be one of the best memories I have for tpco.
And I think that I am very lucky to always get awesome people as my seniors! (which makes me feel sad thinking about them leaving:/)

my group got a freaking F for my client interview assessment.
to make it worst, it is 25% and that is one quarter the subject mark. FML man.

I could have written an essay or maybe even a chapter about the frustrations I have since 2weeks ago till now man.
RAH

For the past whole week(till I don't know when will it stop), everytime when I feel that I am ok, something will happen to make me feel sad and troubled again.
And I hate it.
But it's not getting any better.
For now, laughing helps to hide all my feelings.
I hope this stops soon.

So much has happened today, especially in the night.
Dinner with GC ppl was pretty awesome, the food! LOL
And then for their accompaniment + understanding.

Once again..I came face to face with something which I had never been able to face truthfully ever since I was primary4.
All because of some trivial matters which actually meant so much to me that it has since caused an invisible wall within me.
And I didn't know how much of an impact it has in me to make me feel so jumpy the entire night.
All I had in me was hoping to be able to express my thanks but I didn't know how to do so.
I hope to clear my mind soon and to give confidence to myself so that I can give my best for what I choose in the end and not to regrett.

Talked it over with my mum&sis and with cy, I'm feeling much at peace now though I'm still feeling jumpy over what I should do.
Maybe I should not think so highly of myself
I don't know.
Don't know why I broke down, but it was the first for 2010. and it's because of tkd.

Life in 2010 for the past few days has been pretty normal plus average for me.
Sufficient joy to me but also unnecessary worries. Just a little.
But oh man, just as I was about to think about the happy things, I'm reminded of the things that I will be missing more instead.

2010 means ending my first year in poly, and yet starting of my second year.
Time seems to pass by quickly but yet slowly and yet it doesn't seem like a good thing but it doesn't seem like a bad thing either.
The pros and cons somehow seem to be about the same.
But one thing for sure is that I will definitely miss my seniors cum friends. Shit.
Om天, how? I feel like saying F.
But it doesn't seem appropriate.
But seriously eh! Can't imagine what life will be like without them.
Another reason of my laughter being able to survive till now is partly because of them.
Bet all of them will say life would be great not hearing my destructive laughter and nonsense and blah blah blah blah, but still..I bet they will miss me(for my rubbish)! HAHAHAHAHAHAA
With yr ys wl wt graduating, pauline away for OSIP(wtf! only way to see her is webcam?!), miaoru and pearlyn disappearing for SIP.
I don't know what will become of me.
Only left with mrchua, LOL
I should zou yi bu suan yi bu.

I think my sarcasm skills are coming back. Maybe? Haha
But I'm using it openly in class now I think.

My class was having some mini quiz competition the other day and we were spilt into two teams.
I was so irritated with some ppl's behaviour that I seriously want to comment something abt it that I said to my friend, 'Just have fun answering the questions, we can afford to lose =)'
Guess what! My teacher then said 'I sense some tension growing.' Lol
It was obvious what! Not that it was some competition or something, it was just to test our understanding, like wtf.
To think * even said 'can the other team go first before we answer our last que'
Bet * must be thinking that if we can't get more then 6points for our question * will 'cool-y' say, 'we win, don't have to answer any more ques already'
And if we succeed in doing so, * will be wanting to have a go for another que.
Loser, I call that a snob-.-


My friend said something to me the other day and my actions in class the other day.
My friend asked the other day 'eh zm, why now in class you don't laugh so much anymore ah?'
Maybe because I was tired for laughing so easily in class be it I find it amusing or even to ease the awkwardness sometimes that now I can't or simply smile unless I find something funny and worth laughing at.
And I don't see why I should laugh and probably make myself seem like a clown to others purely for their entertainment.
Plus yr say I shouldn't laugh so much in class(esp crim lessons, because apparently I think my teacher could be irritated with it if that happens too frequently).
So I should tone down, hahahhaa, not that I'm very noisy! (am i? lol)

Random thoughts for the day.
Saw the vandalised mailbox caused by some person called inkman(?) on don't know nye or nyd which turn out to be an attempt of campaigning?
Anyhow bombing of the bass during open house with ys was enjoyable today, lolsssss.
I freaking hurt myself after banging onto some board thingy on my shoulder while saying hi to my friend(full blow somemore, I don't see how I can get a cut because of it plus my shirt wasn't torn or what.)and it hurts while playing the cello just now.
I'm pretty interested in learning dizi now._.
I think I like my hair better now.
I wish for all my friends to be happy always!!!!!!!
I think I have a number of fav teachers now =D
I wish to pass my theory exam. Siansssssssssssssssssssssssss. Been 2months and 8days since I took the paper.
Had a wonderful 11hrs of sleep last night.
I need to go and sleep now!
I think I'm almost over him.

New year = new hairdo?
CUI please! lol.
I don't know lah, hahaha.
I'm happy because I got a haircut and..........I don't know...............
I look more normal with a hairband now, lol.

Watch this! HAHAHA Classic!
Taken in sec2, omg, hahahahah!
I can't help but to keep rewatching it, lol

I find myself still living in 2009.
Time seems to be too fast for me to handle. Haha
I spent my first day of 2010 with staying up till like 12pm before sleeping and then getting up for cello lessons at 7.30pm and then sleeping again and now I'm awake at such an unearthly time.

Meeting tian on the first day of 2010..I don't know if it is a good or bad thing.
She asked me this question which made me wonder what was her meaning behind that.
She asked me '你觉得七级怎么样？会不会很难?'
It started making me think if she is having regrets of teaching me or I don't know what else, I thought as if she wanted to discharge herself off me or something along that line.
But yet the one who prompted me to continue with grade7 is also her.
How contradicting is everything-.-
I feel like saying confidently that if I pass my theory I will continue, but if I fail, I will stop with my cello.
But then, I feel as if there's a waste somewhere because I didn't even put in 50% of my effort for it and it is not like I can't make it because I really can't study music.
But also, I doubt I have any talent for music-.-
What should I do man-.-

Argh, good night.
Talk about it again.
IthinkI'mlettingitgogradually.Itmaybeworking,itmaynot.Idon'tknow=/

2010!

It's 5.15am now and I'm sitting in my living room here with 11 of The People.
Hahaha, how awesome.
We spent last year's nye&nyd with each other and this year as well.
Just at a different venue.
And I think everyone's suffering from heatstroke somehow, lol.

I think we can be called The People because new year means new name! HAHA, that's tiring; to have to think of different name every year.

Going off for now, bye! Haha